Ask Dr. Tracy

What I Did For Love (Tracy)

My last One-Sided relationship was more than twenty years ago, but I remember the pain and humiliation like it was yesterday. The big mistake I made was changing myself for him.

Dave was so cute. I met him at a growth seminar, which should have been a warning... he needed to grow.

Anyway, I fell for him, hook, line and sinker. Not only was he very attractive, but he had a ranch just north of L.A., only about 30 miles from where I lived in Hollywood but a whole world away. He seemed like a real person, so different from the slick showbiz types I dealt with every day.

I was working on a television show, so Dave saw me as the glamorous girl from Hollywood. But instead of letting him stay fascinated, I changed.

Overnight, I turned into Rebecca of Sunnybrooke Farm, riding tractors and horses around his ranch, gathering eggs from the chickens, getting up at the crack of dawn and going to bed early. I turned my back on my usual artists and writer friends to spend all my time on the ranch.

This was back in the days of "Free Love," so I didn't think twice when Dave said we should have an "open relationship." I really wasn't interested in anyone else, but the relationship sure turned out to be open on Dave's side.

After learning to ride on one of Dave's horses, I became quite attached to the horse, but she got sick and died. When she died, I was there with the vet, holding the horse's head. Dave was out, chasing some other girl. I tried to care for the chickens but a coyote got through the fence and killed them all. When that happened, Dave was out again, of course.

Dave always wanted something more. He was always trying to find a better, blonder, more attractive mate, and I was always trying to convince him I was best. I kept thinking that he'd finally see how perfect we were together.

The worst was the night he backed over my puppy in the driveway and killed it while he was on his way to see another woman. What made it even worse (if that's possible) is that I took him back after that. When I think of what I put up with in the name of love, I'm still embarrassed.

This was a true "Crazy Love" relationship, and they happen to men as often as to women. If you feel like you're in a one-sided relationship, read what Colleen and Sandy Did For Love if you want to hear just how nutsy these kinds of relationships can get, then read "One-Sided Love" and "The Broken PopCorn Machine".

Related Keywords: Bad Prospects, Infidelity, Over-Romanticizing, Love Addiction, Dependency

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