Ask Dr. Tracy

Ready For Sex But Not A Mate (Q&A)

Wanting to get married and ready to get married are sometimes very different things...

Dear Dr. Tracy:

I am a 24-year-old single parent with 2 kids. I desperately want to get married, but I can't stay faithful to any one man! I've had so many "perfect" men, but I've cheated on every one.

I have this insatiable desire for wild, crazy, impulsive sex and go looking for it everywhere. I masturbate up to 2-3-4 times a day (even in the bathroom at work or in the bar!) Is this sexual appetite normal? I feel like I'm about to explode.

Help. What do I do? I don't want to be 60, single and still searching.

Dear Hot Pants:

Normal covers a wide range. You're OK; you just may not be ready to settle down, kids or not (you're still a long way from 60). Low self-esteem could also be involved here. Subconciously, you may not feel worthy of a "perfect" man. Impulsive sex serves the double purpose of sabatoging a promising relationship while feeding your more superficial ego needs. I suggest you read Nathaniel Brandon's book, "How to Raise Your Self-Esteem."

Also, it sounds like all the excitement in your life comes from your sex life. You need to find an exciting hobby that has nothing to do with sex. Try sky diving, bungee jumping, or ski racing or even less glamorous, less expensive competitive sports such as bicycle racing. Once you've discovered that there are other ways to thrill yourself besides wild sex, maybe you won't be as driven.

In the meantime, buy a vibrator, and please, practice safe sex.

Related Keywords: Sexual Attraction, Bad Prospects, Infidelity

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