Ask Dr. Tracy

World's Worst Choice of Lover (Q&A)

I couldn't resist starting off the Library's "How to Find the Right Person" Section with the following letter. I'm still shaking my head over this one...

Dear Dr. Tracy

One night I was messing around with my daughter's boyfriend and he was picking on me and all at once, I kissed him and he let me. Nothing else happened until the following week when we made love.

I like him a lot but he's my daughter's. My daughter's 16 and he's 24. He was married before he met my daughter. His wife won't give him a divorce. Right now he's not working and trying to get SSD because of his drinking. He's also living with us.

I know I'm 14 years older than him, but I can't help myself, it just happened. The last time we were alone together I said, "I love you." I told him to say those words back to me and he did.

I told my daughter what happened, but when she asked him, he denied it. My daughter says I'm sick. I'm not, I just like him a lot. Please help me. What should I do?

Dear Mom,

You're not sick, but you're old enough to know better than to carry on like this. You're in a major metropolitan area, surrounded by hundreds of thousands of men. Surely you can find one who isn't married, isn't an alchoholic, has a job and doesn't already belong to your daughter.

Let your daughter be upset with you for bouncing this turkey, not screwing him. In addition to being married, unemployed, and a drunk, he's too old for your daughter, he's cheating on her with you, and he's sure not worth the pain he's bringing into your lives.

With nothing to do all day but cause trouble, that's exactly what this guy will continue to do as long as he's hanging around the house, and you and your daughter will both suffer.

However, he didn't cause the current crisis. You did. You seduced him, plain and simple. Now it's up to you to accept the blame and take steps to resolve the problem. Be a good Mom and think of your daughter, not him. Plead temporary insanity or whatever it takes to apologize to her for fooling around with him, promise her you'll never, ever do anything like this again, but that given the situation, he's got to go.

Then tell him to find another place to live. Your daughter may be very unhappy, but you'll be doing her a favor in the long run. Some day, she'll thank you for getting this jerk out of your lives.

Related Keywords: Bad Prospects, Sexual Attraction

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