"Ask Dr. Tracy"

5/11/97 Advice Column

When A Man Loves A Woman,
Getting Her to Trust Him,
Her Most Sensitive Part

Dear Dr. Tracy,

I would like to know what the signs are to prove that a man loves me.


Dear Marvella,

When a man is in love with you, he sees everything about you in a rosy glow. If you have faults, he thinks they're cute. He never criticizes. He appreciates your good qualities more than anyone else ever has. He "aggrandizes" you and thinks you're much more wonderful than you know any human being really is.

He wants to talk to you every day and wonders where you are and what you're doing when you're not together. He worries about you. He thinks about you all the time, associates all love songs with your relationship, and can't wait to see you at every opportunity. On holidays and special occasions he brings gifts and sends cards. He begins to lose interest in his other friends and spend more and more time with you. He plans ahead for dates and outings together. He worries a lot about losing you.

He adores you. If you're happy, he's happy. If you're unhappy, he's unhappy. He says "I love you," all the time, just to say the words and hoping you'll say them back to him.

These are only indications, however. The real answer is actually simpler. The proof is in the pudding. True love should lead to commitment. The acid test of how you love each other is how your relationship is progressing. See "The Steps to Commitment" in my Library; this article is extremely important for anyone seeking a fulfilling, committed relationship.

Wishing you a man who really loves you,

Dr. Tracy

Dear Dr. Tracy,

my question is about a girl who I have been seeing for a couple of weeks. She is an old classmate from school and we have known each other for years. I had a reputation in high school for being a player. I have been out of school for 7 years now and I have grown up. However she has 2 children and seems to be afraid of letting me get very close to her. I believe the reason is because she thinks I am still the same jerk I was in high school. I am only interested in a treating her real well and hopefully a permanent relationship. So, my question is what can I do to get her to trust me and open up?????

Dear Ex-jerk,

There's no way for this woman to begin to trust you and open up to you immediately even if you hadn't had a reputation as a player. She'd be nuts if she did. She has two children and real-life responsibilities. The last thing she needs in her life is somone who may turn out to be unreliable.

So how do you prove you're a good guy? You show consistency in handling problems calmly and rationally without running off to someone else. You spend time. Maybe a year or more proving you've become a new responsible adult.

You prove you're responsible by always calling when you say you will, by always showing up where you said you'd be when you said you'd ge there, and by letting your actions (not your words) show her you've changed. Don't make promises you can't keep, and always keep the promises you make. Show your ability to be a good parent. Listen to her. Be supportive and sympathetic.

Trust isn't given, it's earned. You have some work to do in that department.

Good luck,

Dr. Tracy

Dear Dr. Tracy,

What is the most sensitive part of a woman's body?

Dear Curious,

Without a doubt, the most sensitive part of a woman's body is her brain. Her sexual feelings are driven by her mind and her mental feelings about you.

The best lovers understand that a woman has to be a willing, eager participant in order to make the best partner.

Seduce a woman with your brain, not your body parts. Learn to listen and communicate and give her a hundred percent of your attention when you're together. Never look around the room, don't look at other women. Seduce her mind, and you'll never have to worry about which of her body parts is most sensitive. For a woman who's truly in love, every body part her lover touches is her most sensitive.

If you have no idea where to start, read my online love library and check out my book, "Manpower, How to Win The Woman You Want," which you can get from your library or order through this site. The techniques in the book teach you how to reach a woman's mind and touch her in a special way.

Practicing the real art of seduction requires brains, not a special spot. All women are not alike. They don't all get turned on by the same actions. Learn to reach each woman in her own special way. Then you'll become a great lover.

Dr. Tracy

Submitting a Question to this column

We regret that it isn't possible for Dr. Tracy to answer all of the hundreds of questions submitted to this column each week. Dr. Tracy selects the three questions which are of the most general interest to the visitors here.

Dr. Tracy says, "Is your question urgent? Many of the most beseeching, desperate messages I get are not answered in this column because the answer is just a couple of clicks away in my Love Library. Have you tried my Love Library? I know that nobody goes to libraries anymore, but check this one out -- it's so easily searchable that it's fun and easy to use!"

If you can't find your answer in the Library and you feel you MUST have an answer, you can get a personal answer from Dr. Tracy within 48 hours by availing yourself of her inexpensive private counseling.

You may submit your question to Dr.Tracy's column by e-mail here.

(Featured art from cover of Letting Go, by Zev Wanderer and Tracy Cabot, published by "Bitan" Publishers, Tel-Aviv, Israel)
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