Ask Dr. Tracy

Setting Romantic "Triggers"

by Tracy Cabot, Ph.D.

When we honeymooned in Hawaii, we celebrated each glorious sunset with a kiss. To this day, whenever we see a tropical sunset, we feel like kissing. The little ceremony of kissing as the sun set each day created a "romantic trigger." With us, sunsets still "trigger" romantic feelings and the desire for a kiss.

You, too, can make special feelings from your romantic vacation last the rest of your life by setting up specific "triggers" -- certain sights, sounds and sensations that will always recall your romantic feelings for each other. Here's how it works.

Songs are perfect romantic triggers. In our case, it's the Hawaiian Wedding Song. We danced so many times under the stars to the sounds of the Hawaiian Wedding Song that now, whenever we hear it, it brings back the wonderful way we felt on our honeymoon.

It's simple to turn a song into a romantic trigger. Pick one that will remind you of your vacatoion -- a Reggae song from Jamaica, maybe a Beach Boys song from California, perhaps an Edit Piaf ballad from Paris. Be sure it's a romantic piece that you both love, and then request it often. Dance to it. Kiss to it. Be sure to bring home a recording, then play it when you want to feel romantic.

It's even more fun to create a sexy trigger. Early in our honeymoon, I picked a particular coconut-scented suntan lotion and stuck with it. We also loved the scent of plumeria leis; we hung them by the bed at night (I also picked up some plumeria perfume for when we didn't have leis).

So throughout our trip in Hawaii, we made love with the sweet scent of coconut and plumeria permeating our senses, and those triggers are still working. A little coconut-scented skin cream, a little spray of plumeria perfume in the bedroom, and voila, my husband feels like making love.

With a little forethought, you can convert anything you see, hear or feel on your vacation into a romantic trigger for the future. Later, amidst the stress of everyday life, you'll be amazed at how these romantic triggers work to reawaken your loving feelings for each other.




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