Love can sweep you off your feet at any age, but when you are over 60, there are more things to consider than there were when you were in your 20s or 30s.
At this stage of your life, you’ve had quite a lot of life experiences, and aren’t willing to settle for just anything.
This article will be discussing finding love at the age of 60 (see also “Is 60 Too Old To Find Love?“), and what things there are to consider when it comes to the question of marriage.
Should You, Or Shouldn’t You Get Married?
If you’re over 60 and have been seeing someone for some time, the question of marriage may pop up.
There are many legal benefits of marriage, such as when it comes to estate planning. It is much easier to transfer asses to each other if you’re married, rather than when you are just cohabiting.
However, deciding to get married will not solve these issues. You’ll need to do the proper planning in order to protect and share assets together.
At this stage of your life, you’re both likely to have accumulated some assets and finances, and you may want to protect them.
Setting up a pre-nuptial agreement will make things a lot smoother when it comes to this, and in the case of divorce, will ensure that what’s yours, stays yours.
Finances
As mentioned above, you will have accumulated assets by this stage of your life, and you will have also developed saving and spending habits.
While you may not like the idea of being transparent about your finances with your significant other, if you’re going to be in a serious relationship, and are considering marriage, then some sharing and transparency need to happen.
If you’re considering marriage, then have an open conversation about how you’re going to move forward together financially. Will some of your assets be combined, while others remain separate?
How will you both contribute to bills and savings? Will your financial decisions be made together?
You could consider opening a joint bank account where the money for joint expenses goes in, while also keeping separate accounts for yourselves.
Children
If you are in a new relationship in your 60s and were married previously, then you and your partner may both have children from previous relationships.
Your children are bound to have an opinion of your relationship, and sometimes they may have worries or concerns, be they correct or not.
Whatever their concerns or opinions are, you should always hear them out and acknowledge their feelings.
If your children are young, then you need to set boundaries and rules about how your partner is going to be a part of their upbringing.
You’ll also need to be on the same page about whether their finances are going to be used on your children.
When it comes to older children, there may be concerns about inheritance. They may worry that their right to your money once you pass away could be in jeopardy.
These are all things that need to be discussed when entering a serious relationship, especially if you are considering marriage.
Debt
Following on from the above points, you need to know what you are getting yourself into when it comes to any debt your significant other may be carrying.
You should both be open about all of your assets, savings, and debts, and you should have a close look at any credit card spending reports and scores.
This will give you a good idea of your partner’s spending habits and will highlight any chances that need to be made.
While spouses are not responsible for each other’s debts, it will still be an issue for your marriage if one of you is carrying a lot of debt.
Your Home
At the age of 60, it is likely that both of you are homeowners. As the relationship becomes serious, you may be considering moving in together.
This is when you decide what to do. Will you both sell your homes and buy a place together? Will one of you sell and move in with the other?
If you still have children living at home, you may feel it is best for them to move in with you, but you’ll have to ensure that your children are comfortable with the idea.
Whatever you decide, the end goal needs to result in a mutual home, even if the house is under one of your names.
This means that you need to make sure that they feel at home too, especially if you are considering marriage.
Have A Good Clear-Out
If your significant other is moving in with you, then they’re likely to bring a lot of stuff with them. This is a good opportunity to have a good clear-out of your home.
Not only will it allow for more space for the both of you, but it will also let them feel that this space is now truly theirs too.
It would also be a good idea to give them some free rein when it comes to re-decorating. This, again, will help them feel more at home.
Tips For Finding Over After 60
As mentioned earlier, at the age of 60 you’ll have had quite a lot of life experience, so finding love isn’t the same as when you were in your younger years.
Below are some tips to help you along the way if it is love you hope to find!
Be Confident
At the age of 60, you know all the wonderful things you can bring to the table. Remind yourself of how good you are, and don’t settle for anything less than what it is you want!
Don’t Try To Replace Someone
Don’t be disappointed if your date isn’t the replica of the person you lost. Be open to new people, and enjoy getting to know them.
Be Open And Honest About What You’re Looking For
On your dates, you should be honest and open about what it is you are looking for. If you’d like this to lead to marriage, then say so.
This will stop you from wasting your time on people who aren’t looking for the same things as you.
Let Your Friends And Family Know You’re Open To Finding Love
Not only will your friends and family be able to give you good advice when it comes to dating, but they’re also the resources you never knew you had!
These people know you better than anyone, and they may have a few people in mind who would tickle your fancy.
Once you’ve given them the go-ahead, your social circle may have the person for you!
Final Thoughts
Navigating love and relationships in your 60s is completely different from doing it when you’re young.
You’ve already built a life for yourself at this point, and you may have a few children (or grandchildren) to consider.
If you are in a loving relationship and are considering marriage, then being open about living arrangements, finances, and children, are among some of the most important things you need to discuss.
Being open and honest about any concerns is the key to ensuring you are both on the same page.
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