Dating when you are older is something that seems to be seldom talked about. Young love gets a huge spotlight. Marriage and family life also get a lot of attention.
Even divorce is talked about often. But very little is said about life after divorce and what dating looks like when you are older (see also “What Is A Unicorn In Dating?“).
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If you are beginning to date again later in life, you will be noticing all the ways that it is different from when you were younger, including a perceived timeline change for your relationship.
In this article, we will talk about whether dating moves faster when you’re older and other ways dating changes throughout life.
Does Dating Move Faster When You’re Older?
In general, anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that dating does move faster in some ways when you are older. Obviously, how fast a relationship moves is completely dependent on the individuals in the relationship.
However, in general, certain traditions and timelines that are often adhered to when you are younger no longer apply to your lifestyle or your morals.
Ultimately, when you are older, your attitude toward dating has changed. You have gained a whole load of life experience which has understandably changed your perspective on a lot of things.
You are more likely to know what you want from life and from love and are going to be unwilling to settle for less.
Depending on your life experience and your age, you may also be more aware of the limitations that time imposes on your life and the need to move faster.
However, relationships and dating don’t have to move any faster when you are older if you are not comfortable with it.
There is no reason why you can’t be courted for a long time before moving to something more serious. There is also no reason why you can’t casually date people for a while when you are older too.
At the end of the day, there is no correct timeline to follow when it comes to dating and life. You know what feels right for you and that’s what you should go with.
How Dating Changes When You’re Older
There are a few significant ways in which dating changes as you get older. These common changes often affect the speed of a relationship.
Whether that is by making it easier to move forward with your relationship quicker than when you were younger, or you make a decision about ending a relationship quicker than you would have before.
Below are a few of the most common reasons why you might feel like dating is moving faster now that you are older.
You Know What You Want (& What You Don’t)
One of the most common reasons why dating moves faster when you are older is that you know what you want from a partner and a relationship. More importantly, you know what you don’t want in a partner.
Having a clear idea of what you want makes it much easier and quicker to decide whether you want to continue dating someone or not. It also makes moving to the next stage of your relationship happen faster as a result.
This can be a good thing as you are less likely to waste your time with someone who isn’t able to give you what you want or need from a relationship.
Red Flags Are A Lot Clearer
In tandem with knowing what you do and don’t want from a relationship and a partner comes knowing what is a red flag. Everyone has different criteria for what behaviors and traits are red flags for them.
When you are young, it is hard to notice when a prospective partner is waving some serious red flags and you end up having to learn the hard way.
With the knowledge and experience that you get from learning the hard way, you can identify suspect behaviors a mile off when you are older.
As we age, it also becomes easier to be straightforward with people, therefore, it can be easier to cut off a relationship that is heading somewhere you don’t want to go.
You Have A Lower Tolerance Of Nonsense
Young love is all about romance and rose-tinted glasses. As you get older, those glasses come off and you learn that the more important things in a relationship are a true connection, friendship, and other more practical things.
This means that you are going to have a lower tolerance for nonsense from a partner.
If the person you are dating has questionable financial status or has complicated relationships with previous partners and other family members this is cause for concern.
If they try to downplay it or tell you that it isn’t their fault it’s someone else’s, that’s something that you probably aren’t going to tolerate anymore.
Priorities Change Over Time
Another huge change between dating when you are young and dating when you are older is your priorities. When you are young there are a few basic things that tend to be prioritized.
Looks are a big one, along with the prospect of marriage, children, and career outlooks.
However, when you are older, you are likely to have different views on marriage and its importance, you might even have been married before.
You might have already had your children or are past the age where you would want them.
You are probably already established in a career if not retired already. All of these things have a much lower priority in dating when you are older. Things such as shared hobbies, values, and interests become much more important.
You’re More Honest And Straightforward
This one is similar to the low-nonsense tolerance one, but it deserves its own section because it is an important one. When we are younger, we like to be gentle and try not to hurt people’s feelings by being too honest with them.
However, as we get older, it can become apparent that this just isn’t the right approach.
A lot of time can be wasted when you are dating, trying to let someone down gently. Many people just won’t get the message if you aren’t simply direct with them about how you feel.
This can make dating seem faster when you are older because you aren’t slowed down by beating around the bush.
You Let Go Of Arbitrary Time Lines
Another common trait of dating when you are young is waiting the appropriate amount of time to take the next step in a relationship.
These timelines are often set to prevent the woman in the relationship from being judged as easy or desperate by society.
As you get older and you have been in relationships where you waited to progress because of arbitrary timelines, you realize that they are pointless.
As long as you and your partner are ready to take the next step, there’s no reason not to. Life is too short.
Final Thoughts
There are many reasons why dating seems to move faster when you are older and most of them are good reasons. They show growth and maturity from the person that you were when you were dating earlier in life.
However, dating only ever has to go as fast as you want it to, you are in control of the decisions you make.
Perhaps this is why, when I was thrown into the adult dating pool, I was completely underwhelmed. Everyone was either looking for hookups or professing love only to ghost me a few weeks later.
After a few years on the apps (much too long), I gave up. I deleted the apps and pondered getting a cat.
That’s when I met my now-husband, Tom.
Tom and I have now been together for four years and our combined experience gave me the idea to start this website, looking into all things love-related.
I would have loved a website like this in my 20s, to let me know that I wasn’t alone in the sea of terrible dates. So, I hope that my painful experiences and advice bring you some comfort, and maybe even laughter.
Remember that there is someone out there for you - you just have to struggle through the time-wasters to find them.
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