When you’re in your 30s, you may feel it’s about time to take the next step in your relationship. But it can be daunting to know how long you have to be with your partner before you settle down.
![How Long Should You Date Before Marriage in Your 30s [A Guide]](https://loveadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-Long-Should-You-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-30s-A-Guide.jpg)
Truthfully, no set timeline can tell you exactly how long you should have been together.
You may have been together for six months or ten years. Each relationship is different, and you need to consider why you want to get married and how you know it’s the right time.
So let’s help you figure out when that time is.
How Old Are You?
The first thing you need to consider is how old you are. If you’re in your early 30s (see also “Is Dating In Your 30s Worth It?“), you might think that you need to get married because it feels like that’s what everyone around you is doing.
But those in their late 30s might be growing anxious and may feel that time is running out. However, you’ll be pleased to know that it doesn’t matter at what age you get married.
Everyone goes through relationships at a different pace, and some couples never get married.
While it can be nerve-wracking when you see everyone around you getting married and having kids, that doesn’t mean you have to follow the same system. Everyone has a different pace.
You might think that you’ll run out of time if you don’t get married in your 30s. But some people are even older when they tie the knot.
How Well Do You Know Each Other?
Before you take the next step, you should consider how long you and your partner have known each other.
Some people get married after six months, but it depends on how long you’ve known each other and how well you know each other too.
You may find that some people who marry quickly are those who have known each other for years before they started dating.
But some people are more impulsive and are happy to get to know each other more during the engagement.
Depending on how long you’ve known each other and how well you know each other, you might think it’s only natural to take the next step.
Ideally, you should make sure you know your partner well and imagine if you can spend the rest of your life with this person.
It’s not about time, either. Do you both know what you want out of life? This isn’t only about wanting a family. Instead, consider whether you want to travel or focus on your career.
Is your partner supportive of these goals? Consider how well your interests align and whether
Do You Want To Start A Family?
Not everyone wants to have kids, and it’s important that you get the question out of the way before you commit. Kids can be a deal breaker, and some people would prefer not to have them.
If you find that you want kids and your partner doesn’t, you shouldn’t expect them to change their mind about it or vice-versa.
Likewise, do you or your partner have kids from previous relationships?
The real question should be if you want to have more kids or if you’re happy where you are. Asking someone to have kids when they don’t can significantly impact your relationship.
So sit down and have the conversation to know whether you’re both thinking the same thing.
Are You And Your Partner Secure?
Think if you and your partner are stable in this relationship. This can mean either emotionally or financially.
Most financially stable couples may be more inclined to get married because it feels like it’s the right thing to do. You might not only be financially stable, but you should also feel secure in your job.
After all, financial stability is directly linked to your job. If you’re insecure in your job, you might feel that there’s some added stress that can put some strain on your relationship.
But most importantly, are you secure in your relationship? Do you trust your partner?
Some people get married because they feel it’s how a relationship progresses. But some people also get married because they’re insecure about being alone.
It’s essential that you consider how you and your partner feel about each other. Most couples who plan on marrying often live together first. However, can you imagine spending the rest of your life living with your partner?
You might need to consider this before you move on to the next step. If you can’t imagine a future with your partner, then it might not be right for you to marry one another.
Is This The First Time You Or Your Partner’s First Marriage?
Some people do get married in their 20s, but it might not work out for some reason.
So you might find that your partner has been married before. If you’ve discussed marriage before, you might find they’re open to getting married again.
![How Long Should You Date Before Marriage in Your 30s [A Guide] (1)](https://loveadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/How-Long-Should-You-Date-Before-Marriage-in-Your-30s-A-Guide-1.jpg)
However, they may not want to get married based on their own past experiences. Some people might not want to get married again.
However, that doesn’t need to be the end of a relationship. Many people don’t get married and find that they still have a great relationship. You also need to consider if either of you has had kids from a previous relationship.
These kids might be very young or teenagers depending on when they were born. But you need to consider how they may feel about you or your partner getting married.
When you or your partner have kids, it’s important that you consider the kids’ feelings.
After all, for many people, getting married isn’t just about their relationship. It’s a way to ensure a stable environment for your family too.
Do You Want To Get Married, Or Is It Peer Pressure?
The most important question is, do you want to get married? It can feel like everyone around you is getting married, and your family might be pushing you to take the next step.
But marriage isn’t for everyone. The problem with marriage is that people fixate on the wedding when marriage is supposed to last a lifetime.
In fact, if you look at TV, you would think that getting married is a guaranteed happy ending.
But that’s not true. Even after you get married, the relationship stays the same.
There’s just paperwork that confirms you’re in a relationship. Some people believe that once they get married, all the problems in a relationship will disappear, and they forget that marriage is also hard work.
After all, some people find that they get more stressed about their relationship once they get married. Instead of thinking about what everyone else says, think about whether or not you want to.
Final Thoughts
Overall, there’s no set timeline for how long you should date before you get married. Some people decide to get married after six months. However, others can wait for years.
You may find that some couples would rather not get married. It’s all about waiting for the right time. Hopefully, this guide will help you figure out the right time for you. After all, no relationship is the same.
Perhaps this is why, when I was thrown into the adult dating pool, I was completely underwhelmed. Everyone was either looking for hookups or professing love only to ghost me a few weeks later.
After a few years on the apps (much too long), I gave up. I deleted the apps and pondered getting a cat.
That’s when I met my now-husband, Tom.
Tom and I have now been together for four years and our combined experience gave me the idea to start this website, looking into all things love-related.
I would have loved a website like this in my 20s, to let me know that I wasn’t alone in the sea of terrible dates. So, I hope that my painful experiences and advice bring you some comfort, and maybe even laughter.
Remember that there is someone out there for you - you just have to struggle through the time-wasters to find them.
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