Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy?

There are few things worse than having a wonderfully intimate night with a guy you’ve been seeing, only for them to pull away from you after the deed is done.

Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy

This can lead to an array of emotions on your part – did you do something wrong? Were you too full on? Did you have bad breath? 

You can ask yourself every question under the sun, but unfortunately, you may never know the answer. However, you’re not the only one whose been in this position, as it is pretty common for some men to distance themselves after they’ve been intimate. 

This article will discuss why this could be, as well as what you should do if you ever find yourself in this situation, 

Sex, Hormones, And Intimacy

Before we delve into why men act the way they do, it is important to understand that men and women respond differently when having sex. 

During sex, women release the hormone oxytocin, which is a hormone that triggers bonding and deeper emotions. 

On the other hand, when men have sex, they release dopamine, which is more about physical pleasure than emotions and bonding. Aside from this, after ejaculation, the hormone prolactin is released, which actually suppresses desire and encourages sleepiness.

Therefore, their sexual desire will decrease, causing them to pull away. 

It is important to remember that this does not mean a man doesn’t want to be with you after they’ve slept with you, but it can explain why men and women may sometimes respond differently to each other after sex. 

Why Do Guys Become Distant After Being Intimate?

If a guy becomes distant after being intimate with you, you must not assume it is only because of you. There are several reasons to explain his behavior, and we’re going to highlight some of them for you. 

They Love The Chase, And Now It’s Over 

Some men have this chasing gene. It is one that strokes their ego and is a competitive quality that many men possess. 

Likewise, many women enjoy being chased. When two people flirt with each other, it starts this chasing scenario, and the end goal is sleeping together. 

Some men love that chase so much, that once you’ve slept together, the chase is up and their work is done. This can lead to them becoming distant as their curiosity has been satisfied. Now, again, this has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. 

He Only Wanted To Sleep With You Once

This may sting, but a guy may be distant after sleeping with you because that’s all he wanted. To sleep with you once. 

While the honorable thing would have been to tell you this beforehand, not all men are like that, so it is normal for you to be feeling used and abused at this point. 

The best thing to do is remember that it has nothing to do with you. This kind of behavior says a lot about him as a person and serves as a reminder that you dodged a bullet. 

He Is Not Ready For A Relationship

Sleeping with you may have taken things to the next level, a level that he never wanted to reach in the first place. 

For whatever reason, he may not want a relationship, and by sleeping with you, he may be worried he has given you the wrong idea, resulting in him becoming distant afterward. 

Ideally, you both would have spoken about your intentions before starting anything, and he should have told you that he didn’t want a relationship before getting involved with you. 

You May Have Moved Too Quickly

You may have got a little carried away and started acting like this guy was your long-lost love the morning after you sealed the deal. Before you know it, you’re making him breakfast in bed and making plans for the following weekend with him. 

For some men, this can come on a little too strong after their first time sleeping with you and may cause them to retract and pull away. 

Unless he’s giving you those same notions back, it is best to go with the flow. It is very normal to feel very connected to someone after sleeping with them, but in reality, you may not know them all too well. Enjoy getting to know each other, and see where it goes!

He May Be Scared

This guy may also be scared of hurting you or getting hurt himself. Getting intimate with you may have brought up memories of previous relationships, and he may be distancing himself from you because he’s scared of feelings developing on both sides. 

What To Do If A Guy Is Pulling Away

Now that you’re aware of the possible reasons why a guy is pulling away, here are a few tips on what you should do. 


The first thing you should do is give him space. Constantly messaging and calling him will only put him off. Trust in the process, if he’s interested he’ll get in touch. If you don’t hear from him, then it wasn’t meant to be!

Be Calm

If you do like this guy, it’s normal to panic and worry he’ll find someone else. As we’ve already covered in this article, it’s normal for some men to distance themselves after intimacy, and the reason is very unlikely to be you. 

Therefore, have confidence in yourself, and continue to live your life.  Let what is meant to happen, happen. 

Final Thoughts

In summary, it is normal for some men to distance themselves after being intimate with someone. There are an array of reasons for this, and they can be hormonal, emotional, or situational. 

It is normal to panic when this happens to you, but the best thing to do is remain calm, and understand that his actions likely have nothing to do with you. 

It is important to have confidence in yourself, and not chase someone who does not want to be chased. Understand your worth, and let what is meant to happen, happen.

Emily Baker