There are so many different slang words that encompass different things in the dating and sexual world. It can be difficult to keep up with emerging and changing slang terms and nicknames.
It can be even harder to try and find out what certain terms mean without feeling like you are prying too much into others’ business. One of the most intriguing terms you might have come across is “unicorn”.
In this article, we will look at what a unicorn is in dating and why people look for a unicorn.
What Is A Unicorn In Dating?
In short, a unicorn in dating refers to a third person who joins an existing relationship. One of the main draws of bringing a unicorn into your relationship is the fun and spice that it can bring to an established relationship.
Differences Between A Unicorn And A Poly Relationship
Adding a unicorn to your relationship is different from entering a polyamorous relationship. In a polyamorous relationship, all of the partners in the relationship have an equal role.
All decisions are made together and everyone shares in all aspects of the relationship with equal weight and importance.
When you invite a unicorn into your relationship, the dynamic is different. It is understood that a unicorn is being invited to the relationship by the two existing partners.
The role of the unicorn is to conform to the boundaries and wants of the couple in the established relationship.
Unicorns should still be allowed to express their boundaries and opinions on things, but their role is centered around the needs of the original couple.
Why Do Couples Look For A Unicorn?
There are a few reasons why a couple might look for a unicorn to add to their relationship, and not all of them are for sexual reasons.
A New Sexual Experience
One of the most common reasons why a couple decides to look for a unicorn is to share a new sexual experience. It can be easy for things in the bedroom to become stale in a long-term committed relationship.
Adding a unicorn can help to spice things up again by forcing routines to change with the presence of a third party.
Many hetero couples may look for a bisexual unicorn so that they can have new and pleasurable experiences with both members of the existing relationship.
Financial Commitments
One of the non-sexual reasons why a couple might want to add a unicorn to their relationship is their financial commitments. It can be common to talk to prospective unicorns about their financial contributions to the relationship.
If an existing couple is finding it difficult to cope with their financial commitments such as rent, mortgage, or other bills, adding a unicorn can help to lead them out of the woods.
It is very important to make this role very clear to the unicorn before they enter the relationship.
Sharing Parenting Burdens
There is a reason why the famous proverb is that it takes a village to raise children. Parenting can be incredibly stressful and difficult and often requires outside help and a strong support system.
Many people rely on friends and family to help them with childcare and child-rearing, however, not everyone has such a strong support system.
Adding a unicorn to your relationship to help shoulder some of the burdens of parenting can be the answer for some couples who don’t have family nearby to help.
Again, this role should be made very clear to the unicorn before they join your relationship.
Companionship
A final common reason why some couples choose to add a unicorn to their relationship is companionship. If one member of the relationship is often away physically for work or social commitments, it can be difficult for the partner who is left behind at home.
A unicorn can be integrated into a relationship like this to help keep the spouse at home company and prevent them from feeling neglected. This is one of the main ways that a unicorn can help to save a relationship.
What To Know Before You Try It
If adding a unicorn to your relationship sounds like just what you need, there are a few important things to consider before you dive in head first.
Decide What You Are Looking For In A Unicorn
The first step in adding a unicorn to your relationship is deciding what you are looking for in the third person.
Multiple long, in-depth conversations need to happen between you and your partner to make sure that you are both on the same page about what you are looking for. There might be a need for some big compromises on both sides.
Prepare For The Challenges Of Finding The Right Person
Finding a unicorn often isn’t a magical experience like love at first sight (see also “What Is A Love Triangle?“). Because this is a more transactional relationship, it is going to take a bit of time to find the right person to add to your relationship.
It is important to be prepared to have to meet with lots of people before you find someone who fits.
Use An Appropriate Dating Site
There are dating sites (see also “How To Find Out If Someone Is Registered On A Dating Site For Free“) that cater to more casual encounters such as finding a unicorn just for sexual experiences. There are also dating sites that cater to long-term relationships for unicorns that are going to be a more permanent part of your life.
It is important to ensure you are looking at an appropriate site to avoid disappointment.
Remember That Unicorns Are People Not Objects
It can be very easy to get caught up in what a unicorn can bring to your relationship and how they can make you feel. In doing so, you can forget that they are a person too and have their own thoughts and feelings.
Remember they are not an object.
Be Prepared For Feelings Arising
Finally, it is important to be prepared for the possibility that feelings might arise between the unicorn and yourself or your partner. This is never the goal but we’re all human. Keeping open communication about this is key.
Final Thoughts
Adding a unicorn to your relationship can be beneficial in so many ways. Whether you are looking to spice up your sex life or just want some extra company, there’s a unicorn out there for you.
Perhaps this is why, when I was thrown into the adult dating pool, I was completely underwhelmed. Everyone was either looking for hookups or professing love only to ghost me a few weeks later.
After a few years on the apps (much too long), I gave up. I deleted the apps and pondered getting a cat.
That’s when I met my now-husband, Tom.
Tom and I have now been together for four years and our combined experience gave me the idea to start this website, looking into all things love-related.
I would have loved a website like this in my 20s, to let me know that I wasn’t alone in the sea of terrible dates. So, I hope that my painful experiences and advice bring you some comfort, and maybe even laughter.
Remember that there is someone out there for you - you just have to struggle through the time-wasters to find them.
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