There is no doubt that dating is a minefield no matter what your age is. However, dating in your 50s is very different from dating in your 20s.
You will have hopefully matured a little since your twenties, you will have gained a whole boatload of life experience, and you have probably had a few relationships since then.
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All in all, you likely know yourself a lot better now than you did when you were fresh out of college. With this secure knowledge of who you are and what you value comes a different attitude to relationships which comes through in dating.
As we grow through life and learn what we want and what we don’t from a relationship, the qualities that we look for when we are dating change.
In this article, we have compiled a list of the things that women in their 50s look for in a relationship.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
One of the main things that women of any age want in a relationship is honesty from their partner. This is something that pretty much anyone wants from a relationship but it takes on bigger importance as you age.
The experiences that you have had in previous relationships can shape and change what you define as honesty. It can also be a wonderfully freeing experience to start a relationship by being completely honest with one another (see also “What Do Men In Their 60s Look For In A Relationship?“).
The older that you get, the more you realize that life is too short to waste with people who aren’t a good match for you. Complete honesty can help weed out the people who aren’t right for you.
You’re Having A Laugh
Another hugely important aspect of a romantic relationship in your 50s is good humor and laughter.
By the time you have traveled around the sun more than 50 times, you will have seen a lot of the darkness in the world.
When you are looking for a relationship, it is important to ensure that the person you are looking to spend your time with is going to show you the lightness of the world rather than the dark.
Finding a partner that shares your sense of humor is a surefire way to have a relationship that is filled with laughter and joy.
A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way
While it can be common for younger women to be drawn to the bad boys or rebels because they seem exciting or because they think that they can change them.
However, older women in their 50s much prefer to have a man who is nice and kind. Chances are, they have had relationships with the bad boy type and know where it tends to lead.
Having a partner who is kind and loving and treats you right is much more desirable in your 50s.
The Importance Of Familial Relationships
Another thing that is really important to a lot of women in their 50s is a man that knows the importance of familial relationships. When you are in your 50s this can mean a lot of different things.
Having a partner who is good at maintaining healthy relationships with family members is incredibly attractive. Whether it is with their siblings, children, or nephews and nieces, having strong, long-lasting relationships is a great sign.
It can help to provide an all-important sense of security that your relationship with them will be taken seriously and maintained.
Intelligence Is Sexy
When you are dating in your 50s, conversation is incredibly important.
You have probably experienced what it is like to run out of things to talk about with a partner because they don’t have enough personal interests or they don’t stay up to date with the news.
Being with a partner who keeps themselves up to date with world news and who has an interest in their own self-development and learning is a great quality that many women look for.
You are never too old to learn something new and this can be a great way to prevent a relationship from getting dull.
Manners Cost Nothing
This quality links closely to the kindness that many women over 50 look for. Manners make a gentleman and what woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a true gentleman?
The best thing about this quality is that it doesn’t take long to notice if someone has manners or not. The first dinner date that you go on with a prospective partner is a great chance to observe how they treat wait staff and servers.
This is a great measure of a person’s true values and manners.
Never Too Old For An Adventure
Having an adventurous spirit isn’t something that is exclusive to the younger generations. You are never too old to go on adventures and live an adventurous lifestyle.
While you might not necessarily be trying skydiving or rock climbing for the first time, there are still adventures to be had together. You can travel to far-flung places that you’ve never been to before, you can try new foods and new experiences.
Having someone who still wants to experience the wonders and adventures of the world is an important part of a relationship.
Who Doesn’t Love Some Romance?
If there is one thing that doesn’t change no matter how old you get, it’s a desire for romance in your relationship. The romance that is expected in a relationship doesn’t have to be grand, expensive gestures.
Simple things such as buying a surprise bunch of flowers, making coffee in the morning, or booking a meal at their favorite restaurant are all it takes to keep your relationship romantic.
Communication Is Key
One of the most important things that a relationship needs is communication. This is likely something that has been learned the hard way through some rough times in previous relationships.
If a partner is closed off and doesn’t communicate well, it is likely to lead to conflicts and issues that life is far too short for.
It’s All Fun And Games
Something else that life is too short for is a boring, dull relationship. Every relationship, no matter how old you are or how long you are together, needs a bit of fun and humor in it.
A prankster can either be a good thing or a bad thing in a relationship depending on your humor, but fun is essential to keep a relationship alive and thriving.
It’s Nice To Be Desired
If there is one thing that is incredibly important to women dating in their 50s it’s feeling desirable. It is incredibly easy for women to feel like they are undesirable in our society.
Therefore having a partner that makes them feel desirable is a high priority.
Friendship Never Ends
Although there is nothing that says that relationships in your 50s can’t involve sex, by this point you are likely to have learned that there is a lot more than that to a relationship.
Having a true and strong friendship with your partner is a huge plus and something that shouldn’t be overlooked.
Final Thoughts
There are a few standard things that most women in their 50s want in a relationship and when they are dating. These things can often be deal breakers when they are not met adequately.
Perhaps this is why, when I was thrown into the adult dating pool, I was completely underwhelmed. Everyone was either looking for hookups or professing love only to ghost me a few weeks later.
After a few years on the apps (much too long), I gave up. I deleted the apps and pondered getting a cat.
That’s when I met my now-husband, Tom.
Tom and I have now been together for four years and our combined experience gave me the idea to start this website, looking into all things love-related.
I would have loved a website like this in my 20s, to let me know that I wasn’t alone in the sea of terrible dates. So, I hope that my painful experiences and advice bring you some comfort, and maybe even laughter.
Remember that there is someone out there for you - you just have to struggle through the time-wasters to find them.
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